How to let go of frustration when trying to achieve goals and say that you can do what you are capable to do. Here are some few advice.
Have you ever noticed that when you talk to someone, let's say, who has something that you want really really bad, they often seem kinda nonchalant about having it?
Like the skinny girl who doesn’t even think about calories, protein, fat, and carbs or the millionaire who says that money doesn’t buy happiness.
!?! You think to yourself, "Easy for you
to say, skinny girl or rich person, you already HAVE it!"
Here they are, basking in this place where they get to enjoy this thing you are chasing, and they don’t even seem to really care about it as much as you do!
Apparently they just have no clue what it feels like to go through what you’ve been going through, right? They just don’t get it...
Getting over the metaphoric fence
I find this topic really interesting because I’ve been on both sides of this fence.
In fact, in some areas of my life, I am the achiever, telling everyone that happiness doesn’t come from getting a certain thing, in other areas, I’m literally sitting on that fence, one leg on each side, crossing over to a new understanding, and yet in other areas, I am still on the “wondering how the hell they do that” side.
It’s funny that you can have so much clarity in some areas of life, and then in others, you might still be eyeball deep in the fog.
And while that may seem frustrating or annoying, I think there is a huge benefit in realizing where you are on any particular topic, especially the ones that are emotionally charged.
If one man can do it
I’m sure you’ve heard the story of the 4-minute mile. Roger Bannister was the first person recorded to break the 4-minute mile, and before him, no one believed it was possible. Then, once he did it, lots of people did it.
This example is often used in the “if one man can do it, so can I” sort of analogy. What if instead of applying this idea of "triumphs in other peoples' lives inspire me to achieve the same" principle, you applied it to various areas within your own life?
What if you looked at an area where you are the achiever, figured out what you did in that area in order to achieve that thing, and then applied those principles to an area where you are still in the fog.
Not necessarily regarding the mechanics of the step-by-step process or specific actions, but rather your thoughts and feelings and beliefs about yourself and that particular topic.
The importance of strong beliefs | Say It
Most times, when I do this sort of thinking about my areas of achievement, I can see certain, very strong habits of thought or skills that I apply to that topic.
I can also see a difference in my feelings about it. When you want something really really bad
, there is a definite difference in your feelings about it versus something that you already have achieved (and easily maintain).
I feel strong, confident, and secure about myself and my ability in the areas where I am the achiever, whereas in the areas where I am still on the other side of the fence in the fog, I feel unsure and not as confident.
Totally makes sense right? If you have proven to yourself that you can do something, then obviously you will be confident about it. You've created a really strong belief about it.
It’s a bit easier to understand how skinny girl or rich person can say those things, when you apply it to an area of your own life where you are the achiever, huh?!
In fact, there may be areas of your life where you are the achiever, and skinny girl or rich person is still on the other side of the fence!
My point is, we all have areas in life where we excel, and yes maybe it could be an innate ability that we are just born with. But what if it isn’t.
I am a firm believer in the idea that if you really really want something, you have the ability to achieve it. You just have to convince yourself that you are capable of achieving it.
A lot of people believe that success takes hard work, and maybe it does... but maybe a big part why hard work pays off is because the process of "getting there
" automatically allows the shifting of your beliefs (baby-step by baby-step) from a feeling of not having it, to a feeling of expecting it, just like the skinny girl or the millionaire or the Roger Bannister aspirers.
Because, after all, expectation and “not having it” feel totally different, don’t they?
So give it a try.
What are some areas where you are the achiever and can you pinpoint any certain habits of thought that you could apply to other areas where you are still on the other side of the fence?